Name: Philip Harper
Born: years ago
Marital Status: Single
Occupation: Council operative
Nickname: The Scud
Hobbies: Break dancing, speed dating, dogging, lap dancers
Club supported: Dirty Leeds
Favourite players: Tim Buzaglo
Position: Center circle
Strengths: Experience
Weaknesses: Age
Guildford Park Highlights: Keeping Butler out of the squad
Guildford Park Lowlights: putting a header wide from 1 yard
Interesting Fact: The oldest player in the league